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mstar2007
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Name: LeShoya
Country: United States
State: District of Columbia
Gender: Female
Interests: drawing, playing, writing music), working out,EATING, skating, reading, watching movies, shopping, listening to music especially music by linkin park, system of a down, red hot chili peppers, metallica, love rap and hip hop also and some r&b
Expertise: I don't even know that yet and I'm like 23....
Occupation: Student
Industry: Music
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/19/2003
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| I used to have alot of anger in my heart towards certain individuals...well ALOT...but now I'm trying to let go and move on....
I don't like cutting people off cause I always feel people can help me out in the future one way or the other...or they might become the next BIll Gates lol...but I had to cut some people just because I couldn't deal with the hurt anymore...no matter how much I pretended I was ok with certain things just because I was either too tired to fucking care or wanted to be with that person so badly that I didn't give a damn about my own self worth...
I've learnt more about myself during this time than I've learnt in a lifetime...and this is just teaching me it's ok to let go sometimes no matter what....
1) ..I don't trust anyone's words and I go by actions because anyone can always twist and manipulate words to try to fool you no matter what....I'm still standing by that
2)...Fake People lie everywhere...in every form or fashion...they're hiding out trying to hurt you...they can be family, coworkers, people at church...ANYONE...and I don't trust nobody honestly not even my mom(and it'sbecause of all the multiple broken promises and lies from her as well......i love her...just don't trust her)
3)...Someone who flips the script and said they valued having a relationship with you and then tries to hook up later JUST as a friends with benefits type thing because they want the best of both worlds or "to see what it's like"...is ridiculous...plain and simple....I hope to God I can find someone who values me for ME moreso than my pussy someday
4) I had a pretty good birthday without the negativity surrounding me..I feel like I'm making a fresh start and I've been writing based on my experiences.....it'll prolly suck if i publish it lol but maybe it won't...I'm leaning more towards suckiness but a quote opened up my eyes to my former dreams "if you love music you shouldnt be in the music business" and honestly that's the damn truth...nothing but cockroaches and hyenas in the music business just like in real life only you're getting paid a lil bit (and I do mean a lil) to deal with them....but my soul is worth alot more than that and I think I should pursue other routes....The reason I wanted to get into the music business was to inspire people with the people I chose...I wanted to pick the next Prince or Michael Jackson and help him/her rise to power and fame...but look how much superstars give up of their soul just to make it...like MJ for instance....Basically you're just a angel of death giving out gold coins every now and agian and profiting from another person's dreams....I don't want to be like that......maybe I'll do something in the music industry maybe in terms of doing non-profit work...I don't know...I just know at this point there are more ways to inspire people then sucking the lifeblood out of someone....
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| I've started to go to church again...and something told me to call up an old aquaintance...i haven't called this person in awhile but it was like we picked up from a convo last week or something...I always feel comfortable talking to this person cause they kind of understand I'm a small town girl deep in my heart trying to cope and adapt to big city ish..... either way...I think I need to make some major decisions in my life...I miss Georgia and I think it's time to go back (not home HOME of course) but Atlanta....My brother is coming down from ATL for my bday and I think I'll talk to him about it. I guess it's time for me to move on...I just gotta wait till my lease runs out next year and I think i'm gonna be headed down...and get a Masters...besides I'm so sick of DC people and their attitudes about life in general...and i miss REAL Soul Food AND waffle house.... :) | | |
| bah....i hate when my friends are halfway right about things....i said halfway..... i know she's a flirt...and i shouldnt care cause i thought the dude was an asshole anyways and we weren't together...Bros before Hoes and he def was a Hoe lol who is still blocked from my list...prolly for good.....and Im glad I found out now before i got caught up...AGAIN...so I do thank her for opening up my eyes to me possibly dipping my foot in AGAIN to something that couldve really hurt me...so she knows who she is...i still think your choice of friend is questionable though but who am I to judge if you like to collect hobbits? hhmph....*just had to get that last one in* in other news.... man...it is now July...almost August... Will my wish come true? | | |
| It's done over...vamoose...that part of my old life is over...I kinda cracked last night talking to someone about my issues with things...Ive realized Ive become sort of a downer and I need to stop...being negative can be an addiction but you just gotta rise above that and keep it moving...I think this story about Jill Scott I read perked me up...here is a woman whose fiancee left her right before she gave birth and she kept it moving by dating a MUCH handsomer guy she costarred with in "Why Did I Get Married" Black Love is beautiful...especially if it comes in a 6'4 220 lb package known as Lamman Rucker... 
So to all the women and others whove moved on past Romantic Tragedy...You Go Girl!.. However this is kind of creepy..because a guy who works as a personal trainer at my job...looks like a shorter/lighter version of him and gave me his number...I've had it on my desk for awhile and I'm not sure if I should call....plus I'd rather he call me but basically he eagerly gave me his cell and I didn't have a chance to give mine so I guess it's on me.......we live in the same neighborhood as well and I think he's a pretty funny guy at work lol and we have the same quirky sense of humor. I think I need to enjoy me for a little bit though and stop worrying about being with someone as a wise man once advised (last night)...who knows.... | | |
| Today is operation Date Myself... I was reading an article by TD Jakes in the latest Essence issue about being happy and single...and I feel real content...I need to start getting to know the best person out there...ME! I've decided to go see Bruno today...other people I knew hated it or found it immature and I never found anyone who wanted to see it with me but I'm gonna treat ME to unadultered silliness. Also, on my birthday...guess what I'm gonna see... AN 80S CARTOON MEGAFEST....oh yeah... AFT Silver will be showing the Transformers...no not that bitch fest with Megan Cocks and Shia LaGay...no sir/no ma'am...they are showing the original "The Transformers:The Movie" voiced by the great Orson Welles as Optimus Prime 
*SCREAMING like a Little Girl* and then it's a double feature of one of my fave 80s naughty cartoons(I was exposed to way too much growing up lol)...HEAVY METALLLL...OH SWEETNESS 
Who says women are more mature than boys? lol...btw-I got a collectible barbie doll for a show I did...it's african american and immaculate...other people I work with got theirs to for the show but they're selling theirs...i think I'm gonna pass mine down through the generations esp to my future daughter I hope to have one day...I'll take a pic once I'm brave enough to take it out the box lol.. | | |
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